Some Finished Thoughts

Duck #86

Wanna know something kind of funny? Well, it’s not exactly funny, but it’s interesting…to me, at least. Okay, here it is: I’ve been avoiding my blog. I’ve intentionally been not writing. I’ve been saying to myself that I’m just waiting for inspiration to hit, but every good writer knows that if you wait too long to write, you’ll never do it. Writing is a lot less glamorous than most people think, actually. But honestly, people keep writing about how unglamorous writing is, so you’d think everyone would get the idea by now, amirite?! Anyway, back to the subject at hand…

Avoiding. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you may or may not have noticed that I’ve been on a bit of a social media hiatus. Honestly, it’ll be better for my ego if you haven’t noticed, even though I really hope you have noticed. (Jk). (Not really). This hiatus has been really good for me and has probably been one of the better decisions I’ve made this summer. It’s forced me to be present where I am–I’m kind of cringing at admitting this because the idea of “being present” has become so culturally popular within the last few years, it’s almost hackneyed. However, despite the bandwagon popularity that “being present” has undertaken, the heart behind it is solid.

As a proud millennial, I am completely aware of my generation’s rampant use of social media and the ways in which it’s become a device of avoidance. We use it to avoid school work, awkward social encounters, talking to family members, etc. Because of this, I decided to take a break from it, and here’s what I’ve realized: I love to live in such a way that other people will find interesting because who other people say or think that I am is really important to me. I’m a self proclaimed people pleaser, but it’s not so much that I want to please people, but that I want other people to be pleased with me. Maybe that’s the same thing, but it feels different. I mean, what’s the fun in experiencing life if I’m the only person that will know what I’m thinking or seeing, right?

Wrong.

Since taking this social media break, I’ve found myself finishing thoughts (shocker!), instead of grabbing my phone to tweet about what’s happening. I’ve found myself noticing  small things around me because my eyes aren’t glued to the latest celebrity dispute. I’ve grown a deeper appreciation for key changes in certain songs because I’ve been able to soak them in instead of posting about how everyone should go listen to them. (I’d provide you with a list now, but I don’t remember all of the songs I’ve listened to recently…it’s been a lot.)  I’ve been forced to notice where I am, take inventory, and be present. Truthfully, I didn’t realize how much I use social media to distract myself from…myself. I think that’s why I’ve been avoiding my blog, because I’d have to intentionally acknowledge the fact that I became aware of how unaware I was. Sometimes it’s hard to admit that you know less than you thought.

However, as I have become less, the Lord has become more. Now, this isn’t me saying “take a break from social media and suddenly you’re understanding of God will become perfect,” because it won’t. Mine hasn’t, but I am learning more and more that He is far more extravagant than I give him credit. For some reason, this is really hard for me to digest, let alone swallow. With the time that I’ve given to the Lord, instead of social media, I’ve been going through the book of Psalms. What I’ve seen consistently about the Lord is this: He is faithful, his love is steadfast, he is strong, he is powerful, he is just, he is personal, repeat.

You see, even though I’m learning that I continually come up empty handed, the Lord is faithful, forever loving, strong, powerful, just, personal, repeat. Again and again and again. The question that I keep asking myself is, “Do you believe that? I mean, do you really believe that?” I’ve had time to think about whether or not I have been allowing the truths of the Psalms, of the gospel of Jesus Christ, to sink into my heart. Have I been allowing these truths to sink in so deep that I won’t struggle to want to live a life that other people find interesting? Have you?

 

…[Dear Jesus,
I must decrease and You must increase.]
<3Amen

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