As I think back over this past year, I’m not entirely sure what to feel. This, of course, is because I have several different emotions to choose from. You know how the cliche lists go…
joy, tears, love, laughter, adventure, fear, hardship, spontaneity, curiosity, wonder, excitement, worry, stress, newness, confusion, happiness, etc…
BUT one word that I didn’t include in that list is faithfulness. I didn’t include it because it really isn’t apart of the list, it’s the umbrella that covers the list.
I was driving home from school this week, listening to music, and enjoying the sunshine after a nice rain. As much as I usually think about everything, this week in particular I’ve been very distracted. I was SO focused on school (more so than usual) that my mind wouldn’t slow down to to think about anything else until I was alone, away from everything. When I got the chance, I started to cry.
I wasn’t particularly sad or overly stressed, nor was I exceedingly happy. It was like a combination of all three. I was listening to the song “Be Thou My Vision,” one of my favorite hymns. It got to the part of the song that says, “Thou art my best thought, by day or by night…”
AND THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME.
How amazing is it that we get to think about the Lord?
How beautiful is it that he allows us to dwell on Him?
How incredible is it that our thoughts don’t do justice to all that our Savior is?
The book of Isaiah has a passage that talks about how the Lord’s ways aren’t our ways and how His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. The passage later goes on to explain how when it rains, the water that falls causes the seeds that the planter sows to reap. Basically, the rain doesn’t fall just to fall. It falls with purpose. Additionally, in that same way, the Word that comes from the Lord’s mouth will not return to Him void. He doesn’t speak just to speak and His words in the Bible aren’t there just to be there.
And you know what God’s word says? It says that HE IS FAITHFUL! (Psalm 36:5 & 37:3)
My God is faithful and He let’s me think about Him. He allows me to be reminded of His goodness! He loves me. I don’t know about y’all, but I think that’s pretty great.
After having this really sweet moment in the car, I started to think back over my semester (and year). I realized 2 things:
1) There were several moments that were really, really, really crappy
2) The Lord was faithful through every single one of them.
One of the biggest ways that I’ve been able to see the Lord’s faithfulness is through friendship. I’ve blogged about it a lot recently, but that’s because it’s been so good. In all of my “darkest” moments, not once was I ever truly alone. The Lord was with me, yes, but He was also gracious enough to grant me with wonderful friends to be there exactly when I needed them (even if they didn’t realize it). Even as this year is ending, I’m making new friends and growing closer to others.
And then I realized something else: Boone is really pretty, but it’s full beauty hasn’t arrived yet.
If you get the chance to go to an overlook almost anywhere in town, you’ll be able to see mountains on mountains and trees on trees. You can see how vast the view is and potential it has to be breathtaking. You can see that the trees have endured a harsh winter and are still fighting for spring. You can see that the trees have not gotten up to run away, but instead remained–they stand tall, vulnerable, showing the tiniest bit of hope as a few buds start to form.
We’re the same way.
For so many people this year and semester has been really hard. It’s been a blessing to have so many people be able to say “me too,” and then connect over the fact that life can be really hard sometimes. But even if everyone can be sad together, we’re still sad. And I hate that. I know it’s a a part of life, but it pains me to know that so many people I love have had to go through a lot of difficult things this year.
But you see, like the trees, we’re still here. We’re still standing. We’re withered and bare because our leaves of joy and happiness have been stifled by the winter, but we’re not dead. We are alive because our God is faithful. We have the potential to continue growing into something beautiful. Our leaves will return. Our flowers will bloom. Our God will send the rain that won’t fall just to fall.
I know that this all seems kind of cheesy, because it sort of is, but that’s okay.
I have to continually remind myself that this is not the end. This isn’t it. More is coming and I can’t wait! And ya’ll best believe that when all of the green returns and covers our beautiful mountains, I’m gonna be singing and dancing like it’s my job! #amen
So, wait it out. The Lord is faithful.
[Dear Jesus, Thank You for who You are. Thank You for your beauty and thank You for reminding me that You are always faithful.]