What Are The Rules?

What Are The Rules?

All right ladies & gents, it’s time once again for another post.
So, Duck #11, this one’s for you.

I’d like to start with a question. Ready?
Here it is: WHAT ARE THE RULES?!

-Whoa, Jayna. Easy there. No need to shout?
-I’m not shouting. I just want to get your attention.
-Well, ya have it!
-Okay, good…so what are the rules?
-Rules of what?!
-Relationships, Talking, Texting, Male/Female Dynamics. It’s all so confusing…

Yes, you’ve guessed it. This post goes out to all the ladies who are interested in a guy, but don’t want to seem too eager & all the guys who are interested in a girl but can’t tell if she’s as interested in you/aren’t ready for anything serious quite yet. (And for the rest of you that might not fall into the aforementioned category).

It’s a rough life. The college life, that is. In these 4 years (maybe more) we’re told to grow up, learn to live on our own, figure out who we are, pick a major, stick with it, keep a decent GPA, make new friends, try new things, study hard, attend different events, AND find a life partner. It’s a tad crazy, no?

To be quite frank, I think it is the latter part of this immense list that is the hardest. Though it requires much effort, it is fairly easy to go to class, do the assignments, study for tests, and write papers. Nobody wants to do it, but we do…we can..we understand how to. It’s also equally easy to try new things. We’re in college. New things and different events are thrown in our faces. We’re bombarded via e-mail, poster, or random people standing on the quad trying to get us to come to (insert sorority/fraternity here)’s annual pancake puppy day on a daily basis.

But the one thing that is not laid out for us are the rules of dating. Nay, the rules of the pre-stages to dating. It’s fun, but it’s awkward. It’s exciting, but nerve-racking. And with the ever present slogan of “Ring by spring!” [Thank you Ole Miss & Liberty University for that one] in the back of every girl’s mind, females throw themselves at guys and obsess over wedding videos, pinterest boards, and fictional movies.

We put all of these irrational and fairytale-esqe ideas in our heads that when we’re hit with reality we have no idea how to react.

Recently a dear friend of mine met a guy. To protect their identifies we’ll call the girl Reese and the boy Nathan.
To catch you all up to speed, Reese met Nathan just a few days ago. Remember how I said that college is constantly shoving random events at you? Well, they met at one of those. Anyway, according to Reese, everything started off pretty casual. Introductions were followed by the usual questions of, “where are you from?”, “what’s your major?”, etc. Usual college ice breaking questions. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was polite and friendly.
Well, this event when on for a few hours. By the end of it, Reese and Nathan had talked and laughed enough for Nathan to hint at having a level of interest in Reese. Reese was flattered. She claims that she didn’t see it coming, but was pleased by Nathan’s interest and before she left gave him her number.

The next day, Nathan texted Reese. She texted back and they talked on and off for a while that day. However, when talking to Reese, she kept explaining how texting was somewhat awkward and that talking to Nathan in person was so easy and fun. She wants to get to know him, but she doesn’t want to seem too eager in her texts. She doesn’t know how much time she should take in between responses. She doesn’t know how to interpret his responses.

And that’s the kicker, isn’t it? She doesn’t know. Who does? Reese is over here hilariously yet somewhat ridiculously over analyzing the situation while she has NO idea what Nathan is thinking.

“Does he want me to text him first?”- she asks
“Should I put a smiley face? Do I sound too desperate?”-she wonders
“He hasn’t responded for a while. I’m annoying him…”-she claims.


Yes, some of this is over exaggerated, but we all fall into this somehow. Don’t lie.
And it’s not like I can tell you what the guys are thinking, because well…I’m a girl. As girls, though, we all get together and speculate and talk and try to come up with the right formula to let the guy know that we’re interested, but still want to be pursued, that we want to hang out, but want you (the guys) to do the asking. But is that okay? Is that cheating? WHAT ARE THE RULES?

It also doesn’t help that Reese, a few of our friends, and I recently watched “He’s Just Not That Into You.” If you’ve seen that movie, you’ll understand what I mean by it not helping. If you haven’t seen it…go watch it!

But, who knows? I don’t.
Reese texted Nathan first today…not sure how it turned out, but I can’t wait to hear about it. 😉

[Lord, remind us of who You are and the concrete attributes of Your nature. Help us to be focused on You and not to obsess over the vagueness of life.]
❤ Amen

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